Not 3.1415, but British broadcaster Jonathan Pie. Who here melts down in an epic live-mic rant that probably registers an approximate 6.5 on the Richter Scale.

We have finally got a moving date, so by the end of the month we’ll be in our new apartment in Albuquerque! Yes, after a 30-year rural idyll, we’re leaving our blissful, well-appointed country house for a place in the big city!

What motivated all this? Well— it was time. After three decades we were getting tired of maintaining a very large house on a very large piece of land. I had got tired of wrangling the tractor. I had got tired of chopping weeds in 110-degree summer heat. We had both got tired of the 75-mile round trip to town (and our friends) and back.

I won’t have to maintain anything but myself. Something breaks, I’ll call maintenance. If we feel like going to Portugal for a couple months, all we have to do is lock the door and go.

Our new place comes with two gyms, two swimming pools, two hot tubs, three restaurants, a snack bar, and a very nice view of the mountains. Plus it’s convenient to shopping, concerts, and our friends.

Mind you, it took a damn long time. We bought the apartment in February of 2024, and the remodel took over a year. There was no fucking reason for it to take so long. They said it was our fault, of course, for not giving clear and explicit instructions (which, for the record, we had). For some reason they seemed never to have heard of telephones— if they had questions, they could have called us, but somehow it never occurred to them to use their phones for anything other than taking selfies. Or whatever.

Anyway, that leaves our lovely home behind. Which will soon be for sale.

If any of you are in the market for a 4-bedroom, 3 bath, 2500 sq.ft. custom home, with a very large garage, custom kitchen and bathrooms, solar panels, gorgeous floors, sitting on two acres next to the Rio Grande— well actually 1.5 acres, since the other .5 is owned by the Conservancy District, but you can use it like you own it and don’t have to pay taxes on it— anyway, by all means let us know.

It’s in a semi-rural district, with horses and cows and alfalfa fields. It could be good horse property. There are incredible starscapes at night. And it’s ideal for birders, since it’s right on the Rio Grande Flyway and is the winter home of hawks, eagles, cranes, geese, ducks, and other delightful creatures.

It might well break our hearts to leave. But it’s time, it really is.

For those who haven’t seen it, here’s David Tennant’s exuberant opening for this year’s BAFTA awards.

For those looking for a wee bit of relief from out country’s incessant drumbeat of madness and doom. (Maybe it’s not so doomy in Britain.)

WARNING: Scottish accents.

Yesterday I had a shingles shot and a COVID vaccine.Today my body is one giant flare of pain. I’m sure it will get better.