Exterminator Wanted

At 5:30am I was awakened by a spider biting me on the haunch.

I was somewhat familiar with the sensation, since last year I was bitten twice, on two successive nights, by a large centipede that had taken up residence in my easy chair. After the second bite, I jumped up, turned on the light, and hunted for the malefactor. Eventually I beat it to death with a shoe.

I have no mercy for centipedes. They are creepy.

On feeling the sting, I rolled over and commenced swiping at my haunch to dislodge the whatever-it-was, and then in the faint light of dawn saw a spider running up my leg. I fetched it a mighty swipe, and I trust it remains in orbit.

It was a very small spider, half a centimeter in length maybe, and it seemed to be black and white. It wasn’t the size or shape of a black widow or a recluse, so odds are I won’t die, and my leg won’t fall off.

So far this year I’ve found a black widow, a pair of brown recluses, and so far no centipedes. Though I’m okay with living with nature in a state of peaceful coexistence, I think I may just contact an exterminator.