From the Robophobe

More strange, out-of-context critiques from the Toolbox.

“She critiques the god and decides it’s not a good one–maybe 6 out of 10.”
“Your story succeeds in avoiding the Lovecraftian gravity well.”
“I didn’t like the character–she was willing to get rid of her dog in exchange for a robot!”
“The self-aware-robot commercial wars will make the PC-Mac rivalry look like a Sunday brunch.”
“I think I need to clarify my world before I break it.”
“Enough about feelings!”
“This plot reminds me of Shaquille O’Neill playing basketball and missing all the free-throws.”

“Drugs and rum–a reliable source of good decision making.”
“I’m an astronomer and I usually like large numbers–but a word count that has to be expressed in scientific notation?”
“I need to know WHY they are setting huge areas of the South on fire.”
“Launching a satellite isn’t really something you can do in secret.”
“We need to see a normal character interaction BEFORE heads explode.”
“If you give us poison sacs, we need to see them in action–Chekhov’s Poison Sacs.”
“You have emotional resonance at the end, but I just wanted it to make sense.”
“I know he’s a lizard, but he still should have some emotion when his family is revived.”

“Where are the space pigs?”
“Peeling off a strip of the victim’s skin and eating it was so graphic I had to get up, drink some orange juice, and pace around.”
“How do you get hanged by accident?”
“I’m going to blaze past your totally irrational hatred of Rice University.”
“Yes–bringing dystopia to six planets at once!”
“More godpower from testicles.”
“This scene is like a Mack truck going through a Walmart.”
“We’re going to build this godwall and we’ll make the gods pay for it.”
“I could use a demon valet.”
“The dude has a dragon–he should aim higher than kitchen staff.”
“The character seems nuttier than squirrel poop.”
“I love that Babylonia is now located in Arkansas.”
“Tunaaaaaa!!!!”

“What does she want besides not getting eaten by multi-dimensional elephants?”
“Drowning in bread dough is a shitty way to die.”
“That’ your third grumpy kitchen lady, and they’re starting to blur together.”
“If I saw someone’s head disappear, I would mention it.”
“I loved the homeless people smoking cheap joints and reminiscing about their days in the software industry.”
“I felt you were torturing me in a comfy chair.”
“I don’t want my tablecloth yelling the news at me while I’m eating.”
“Is he just a nice guy who goes around befriending people who can’t sing?”
“I have sympathy for anyone in any time period who has to drive Route 280.”“All your characters are nice–what kind of world is that?”
“I hated your protagonist, just hated her, wanted to slap her upside the head–so you got me engaged in the story.”
“I can’t care about the product manual for a tractor.”
“If you need to have a lot of immigrants streaming across the border from Canada, then crash Canada.”
“When you get tenure, you lose your mind.”
“That is a beautiful sentence but I’m not sure what it means.”
“The robophobe in the room is…Walter!”
“People are over-rated.”