Internal Monologue

The fifth visit from a Comcast tech has failed to solve the problem, though so far as I can tell Internet connectivity did increase somewhat.  So the trend, at least, is positive.

Meanwhile, here’s an idea of what it’s like to have been in my head the last ten days:

Oh look the cable light is green on my modem maybe I can upload that photo OH GOD THE LIGHT’S GONE OFF RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE UPLOAD AND THE PROGRAM IS JUST STUCK THERE TRYING TO RE-ESTABLISH THE CONNECTION AND MY CPU USAGE HAS JUMPED TO 99% AND MY COMPUTER CAN ONLY BE USED RIGHT NOW IS AS A PAPERWEIGHT and look I’ve got connectivity again so maybe I’ll check my bank balance GOD DAMN THIS PIECE OF CRAP NOW I’M LOGGED ONTO MY BANK ACCOUNT WITH NO WAY OF LOGGING OUT FUCK FUCK FUCK OH DAMN and hey all the lights on the modem are green right now so maybe I’ll check out this online store and buy some holiday presents for my friends AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN’T CHECK OUT I HATE THIS MOTHERFUCKER I’M GOING TO MARINATE IT IN ITS OWN TRIPES AND THEN FIREBOMB THE CABLE COMPANY AND THEN MAYBE THEY’LL TAKE ME SERIOUSLY oh look I’m online again and I have to give them my credit card information and WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE REJECTING MY CREDIT CARD BECAUSE MY CONNECTION DIES BEFORE I CAN TYPE IN ALL SIXTEEN DIGITS I HATE YOU YOU MILK-LIVERED POX-MARKED REELING-RIPE OFFSPRING OF BILL GATES AND MAMMY YOKUM DIE DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE!

In short, the tranquility that is supposed to descend during one’s vacation has failed to make an appearance.