Reviews Too Brief: In the Loop

Okay, so I saw In the Loop and I’d like to spend a lot of words explaining how good it was, but I can’t because I’m leaving town and haven’t yet done my laundry.

It’s a British political satire about the spin-up to a familiar-sounding war, and it plays like a combination of Dr. Strangelove, the Office, and the output of some highly ingenious scatology-creation software. And because I don’t have any time, I’m just going to cut-and-paste some dialog from the film, and you can decide on your own whether this is your cup of tea or not.

Jamie: Well, if it isn’t Humpty Numpty.

Simon: What is this? Surround bollocking?

Jamie: Hey, with due respect, I hadn’t finished. If it isn’t Humpty Numpty sitting on top of a collapsing wall like some clueless egg cunt. Now, I’m finished.

Simon: Hi, Jamie, this is Toby.

Toby: Oh, um… Toby Rice, I’m Simon’s aide.

Jamie Hi, Toby, Toby. Very pleased to meet you. Please sit down. Now, right, that’s enough of all the fucking Oxbridge pleasantries.

Toby: What’s Oxbridge about saying hello?

Jamie: Shut it, Love Actually! Do you want me to hole punch your face?

Malcolm: Right, I’m off to deal with the fate of the planet. Be gentle with them.

Jamie: Oh, you know me, Malc. Kid gloves… but made from real kids. Right, Butch and Gaydance, this wall story is playing badly. There’s a cartoon of you in here as a walrus.

Simon: A walrus? I’m not fat, I don’t even have a moustache. Fuck, they’ve given me tusks.

Jamie: Wal-rus. You get it? Wal-rus, wal-rus.

Toby: We called some builders. They didn’t turn up when they said they would.

Jamie: What did you expect? They’re builders! Have you ever seen a film where the hero is a builder? No, no, because they never fucking turn up in the nick of time. Bat-builder? Spider-builder? Huh? That’s why you never see a superhero with a hod!